I don’t think they’ll let you in, Leatherneck. They have an IQ minimum at the door.
  -- Wet-Suit (joking with Leatherneck about the newest club in town)
Home Episode Summaries Season 2 The Million Dollar Medic


"Where the Joes are involved, no victory is ever guaranteed."
- Baroness (to Tomax and Xamot after they promise to defeat the Joes)


Duke and Scarlett streak above the ocean waters of the Caribbean in Conquest X-30s and are followed by a G.I.Joe Tomahawk piloted by Lift-Ticket, who is partnered with Lifeline. After Scarlett asks why Serpentor would send a squad of Night Ravens to the Caribbean, Slipstream jokes that maybe Cobra’s leader is treating his pilots to a vacation.


Looking down at a young woman listening to her radio and tanning in the sun, Lift-Ticket comments, “Man, now that’s what I call living.”

But the Joes find the Night Ravens and Duke yells for the Joes to initiate attack plan B. “YO JOE!” all of the Joes yell as missiles and lasers from the Conquest X-30s strike the Night Ravens.

Tomax and Xamot attempt to shoot Duke’s plane, however, Slipstream hits Tomax’s plane and causes the other Crimson Guard Commander, Xamot, to feel the pain of the missile’s impact. Tomax ejects from his plane and Xamot sends out the drone attached to his plane to retrieve his brother in mid-air.

As Xamot saves his brother, the damaged Night Raven crashes into the yacht the Joes passed earlier. Explosions rip the boat apart, and while the owner and his daughter cling to the wreckage, Lifeline drops into the water and pulls them to safety before the ship explodes. After the woman tells her father to forget about the boat, she hugs Lifeline for saving their lives, however, the Joes pulls her arms off of him and tells her to remain calm. Xamot radios the other Cobra pilots to retreat since their mission has been accomplished.


Mr. Van Mark, who is wrapped in a blanket, explains to Duke and Scarlett that he has always suspected industrial espionage in his operations, however, as he examines the damage, he feels like he is caught in a war. Scarlett echoes his sentiments by explaining he is caught in a war, one between Cobra and the world.

While Van Mark confesses that he doesn’t understand why Cobra would attack a cocoanut milk bottling plant, his daughter Brittany “Bree” Van Mark runs across the beach and yells for Lifeline. Placing her hands on his chest, she smiles and explains that she wanted to thank him for saving her father and herself, but Lifeline humbly replies, “Oh, just doing my job, Miss Van Mark.”


As Lift-Ticket, who is repairing his Tomahawk nearby, mutters, “Oh, brother,” Bree continues to praise the Joe's courage, but Lifeline explains that the workers on the yacht who fought the fire are the brave men and excuses himself so that he can tend to their wounds. Bree tells Lifeline that they can talk later and as she begins to fall for him, Lift-Ticket covers his face.

Tomax and Xamot return to a Cobra base and face an enraged Serpentor, who aims the cannons on his air chariot at the Twins and tells them that they shouldn’t have returned until the Conquest X-30 squadron was destroyed. The cannons fire and the Twins duck as cardboard HISS target are destroyed. Tomax and Xamot quickly promise that Van Mark will sell his business to Cobra by week’s end.

After Serpentor flies out of the room, the Baroness laughs and tells the Crimson Guard Commanders that it is dangerous to keep promises they cannot keep. Although Tomax and Xamot tell her that they have a plan guaranteed to bring victory, the Baroness replies in a tone full of venom and ice, “Where the Joes are involved, no victory is ever guaranteed.”

After Lifeline wraps Junkyard’s foot, the dog licks Lifeline’s face in gratitude and hops away to Mutt. Lift-Ticket then hands Lifeline a box that has a return address of Tiffany’s in New York. Lifeline pulls out a platinum Swiss Army knife out of the box and reads the inscription: "To Life Line, the bravest and most modest man I ever met Love Forever Bree Mark.” Telling a surprised Lift-Ticket that he has to take the gift back, the Joe helicopter pilot reluctantly agrees to fly his friend to New York with on one condition - he wants to see Bree’s face when Lifeline returns the gift.

After Buzzer uses a chainsaw to cut through a door, the Dreadnok enters the home of Owen Van Mark with Zandar, Tomax and Xamot, who backhands the homeowner as he runs forward and threatens to call security.

Lift-Ticket drops Lifeline off at the door and rides away on a Silver Mirage motorcycle. Spotting the vandalized door, he enters the house and immediately calls out for Bree, however, she and her father are held hostage by the Cobra agents. Xamot attempts to kick Lifeline, but the Joe ducks and the Crimson Guard Commander strikes Zandar, who is holding Bree.

She runs to Lifeline and yells that the Joes will “mop the floor” with them. However, Lifeline calmly explains to Bree that he is a medic and that he is dedicated to saving lives. Zandar punches the Joe, who crashes into a vase and slumps to the floor unconscious.


Leading Mr. Van Mark and his daughter out of the house, the Cobra agents stop in front of Lift-Ticket, who asks, “So is this a private party or can anyone dance?” And the Joe proceeds to pound on the Cobras.

Buzzer’s chainsaw cuts through the floor, and as a column falls to the ground, the twins and Zandar fall through the floor and escape.


Lift-Ticket, who adjusts his collar and tells himself that the brawl was the best one of the week, turns and asks if everyone is okay. Bree tells Lift-Ticket that everything is okay thanks to Lifeline. Surprised by her comment, Lift-Ticket whisper to himself, “Thanks to Lifeline?”

Part One - Part Two - Part Three


Jan 25: G.I.Joe Examined on Podcasts
Jan 25: Buzz Dixon Interview
Jan 25: Paulsen Annie Nomination & Dini on Batman Comic
Jan 12: Sgt. Slaughter Signing in Atlanta
Jan 11: G.I.Joe to Return on G4
Dec 30: Paramount Movie Reviewer Plugs JoeGuide.com
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